Best Tuesday Ever

JUNO COMES OUT TODAY!!!!!

Leah: Dude, I think it's best to just tell 'em.

Juno MacGuff: I'm Pregnant.

Bren: Oh, God.

Juno MacGuff: But, uh ah, I'm going to give it up for adoption and I already found the perfect couple, they're going to pay for the medical expenses and everything. And and what ah 30 or odd weeks we can just pretend that this never happened.

Mac MacGuff: You're pregnant?

Juno MacGuff: I'm sorry. I'm sorry... And if it is any consolation I have heartburn that is radiating in my knee caps and I haven't taken a dump since like Wednesday... morning.

Bren: I didn't even know that you were sexually active.

Juno MacGuff: I, uh...

Mac MacGuff: Who is the kid?

Juno MacGuff: The-the baby? I don't really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly. Bren: Nails, really?

Juno MacGuff: Yeah!

Mac MacGuff: No, I know I mean who's the father, Juno?

Juno MacGuff: Umm... It's Paulie Bleeker.

Mac MacGuff: Paulie Bleeker?

Juno MacGuff: What?

Mac MacGuff: I didn't think he had it in him.

Leah: I know, right?